You're sitting there doing your thing and suddenly, there's this intense feeling that hits you. Something turns inside you, like a wave of emotions just crashed on you. Only, you don't recognize these emotions. This vile cocktail of feelings.
You start feeling something. Something negative, about yourself. Soon that neagtivity starts manifesting. A familiar voice echos in your head, yet no sound is heard. This voice belongs to no one. But the way of speaking is yours. It's your thinking voice.
You're a pathetic looser and that's what you'll remain. Nobdoy will ever love you or recognize you for anything more than a failiure.
You will be forgotten and the only time people will remember you, will be in mockery.
Somewhere deep inside, you know it's not true. But you have no evidence to prove otherwise. The worst part is, you had all the right qualities for becoming anything that you wanted to be. You were smart, good sense of humour, people used to love having you around, you had everything and yet there was fire burning in your eyes. There was. Somewhere along the way, a switch flicked and you lost your attitude. You lost your way never to be found again.
That feeling takes your dreams, crumbles it like a ball of paper and throws it into a deep dark pit. You know its never getting out of there. All you can do is stare into this darkness. Inside it. Lost. Alone. You're not going home tonight. You're never going home.
You cannot do anything. You'll just work as a stepping stone for others. Getting stepped on, and kicked back.
I want to tell you. Whenever you're lost in the dark, such crippling darkness, write it down. Write everything down. Rant if you like. And after writing it, think of the most confident person you know. Think of that person and write down what would he do in this situation.
Sometimes, those things would feel shameful. Sometimes, outright cruel. Weigh it on the measure of your values, if it doesn't feel right, think of another confident person.
Every light that ends darkness need not come from within, sometimes, it's okay to borrow.
You're not alone.